When boredom knocks, answer the door
In the routine of the daily grind, where every day can start to feel like Groundhog Day, boredom becomes an unwelcome house guest in your head.
Most of us have experienced the feeling that life itself has become mundane—work feels like a tedious chore, hobbies seem repetitive, and relationships lack depth.
The immediate reaction might be to seek a total reinvention of yourself, leave everything behind, and build a radical makeover.
Yet, the intriguing wisdom of Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard offers a different solution – instead of pursuing an entirely new life, dive deeper into the one you're living now
Put boredom to work for you
Kierkegaard, a perpetual dissenter, questioned the norms of 19th-century Danish existence, offering profound insights in works like "Stages on Life’s Way."
According to Kierkegaard, life unfolds in three phases, each deeper than the last, influenced by our boredom and the courage to confront it.
The Aesthetic Stage: This stage is characterized by a pursuit of pleasure, beauty, and novelty. Individuals in the aesthetic stage seek sensory experiences and new delights, often avoiding commitment and responsibility. The focus is on personal enjoyment and the avoidance of boredom.
The Ethical Stage: Transitioning from the aesthetic, the ethical stage involves a deeper level of commitment and responsibility. Individuals in this stage recognize the importance of ethical choices and social obligations. Marriage, as a significant ethical commitment, is highlighted by Kierkegaard as a pivotal aspect of this stage.
The Religious Stage: The religious stage goes beyond the ethical, involving a profound connection to a transcendent cause or purpose. It's not confined to traditional religious beliefs but encompasses a spiritual exploration seeking meaning beyond the material world. The concept of a "leap of faith" is often associated with this stage.
The aesthetic stage is about chasing new delights, often experienced in the exuberance of early adulthood. This quest might manifest as the stereotypical "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" lifestyle or, more innocently, through hobbies like travel. Yet, this pursuit, once vibrant, can lose its sheen, leaving one pondering, "Is this all there is?"
Transitioning to the ethical stage demands a shift from a consumerist approach to life toward creating more profound experiences. This leap into the unknown often culminates in commitments like marriage.
In the ethical stage of life, individuals make a significant transition from the pursuit of personal pleasure to a deeper engagement with moral responsibilities and commitments. At this juncture, life is no longer seen as a series of fleeting experiences but as a realm where ethical choices and obligations hold paramount importance.
Marriage, according to Kierkegaard, epitomizes a key aspect of the ethical stage, signifying a profound commitment where one's actions and decisions are intertwined with the well-being of another. This stage challenges individuals to move beyond self-indulgence, embracing the complexities of ethical living and the inherent responsibilities that come with it. It marks a departure from the transient pleasures of the aesthetic stage to a more enduring and morally grounded way of existence.
However, for some, the spectre of boredom reemerges, prompting contemplation of a deeper way of being. The spiritual stage beckons – a connection to a transcendent cause or purpose. The spiritual stage, as envisioned by Kierkegaard, extends an invitation to delve into the profound depths of existence, transcending the ethical commitments of the preceding stage.
Here, the focus shifts from earthly bonds and ethical obligations to a search for transcendent meaning and purpose. It goes beyond the conventional boundaries of organized religion, encompassing a personal and intimate exploration of one's connection to a higher, transcendent reality.
In this stage, individuals are prompted to contemplate the source of ultimate goodness and align their lives with a higher purpose. It involves a quest for deeper understanding, often described as a "leap of faith," where one associates their life with a cause or purpose that goes beyond the tangible and mundane. While traditional religious frameworks may offer one path, the spiritual stage is not confined to any specific dogma or creed. It embraces diverse avenues such as meditation, contemplation, and introspection, allowing individuals to seek the profound within the everyday.
The notion of the spiritual stage implies that life's true fulfillment is found in the connection to something greater than oneself. It encourages a journey of self-discovery and a relentless pursuit of existential truths, echoing the belief that, "spiritually speaking, everything is possible." This stage beckons individuals to explore the boundless dimensions of their own existence, fostering a deeper, more meaningful connection with the mysteries that lie beyond the immediate and the apparent. This is about finding the sacred in the simple.
Kierkegaard’s stages aren't confined to chronological ages; they adapt to various life phases and activities. Consider reading – progressing from aimless perusal to a thoughtful exploration, and finally, to a spiritual immersion in profound texts.
Similarly, in the realm of work, one can evolve from a job-hopping, experiential approach to a committed career aligned with personal values.
Some may even discover their vocation, akin to a religious calling, serving others and embodying transcendent beliefs.
Friendship, too, evolves from surface connections to profound depths. The perfect friendship, as Aristotle envisioned, is based on a deep connection and shared love, echoing a sense of sacredness
The pandemic, while causing global distress, paradoxically provided opportunities for progress through Kierkegaard's stages. Some embraced deeper commitments, pursuing deeper more meaningful relationships or learning new interesting skills.
Others delved into the transcendent aspects of life through meditation or spiritual exploration.
In embracing Kierkegaard’s paradox, one unveils the magical truth – within life's monotony lies a reservoir of opportunities for relief and evolution.
Applying Kierkegaard's Wisdom to Everyday Life:
When boredom knocks, don't reach for a sledgehammer of change; instead, consider it as a gentle tap on the door of possibility. Imagine boredom as a curious guest, inviting you to open the door to a realm of untapped potential. The sledgehammer, while powerful, might shatter the delicate nuances of your current existence. Instead, think of boredom as a subtle messenger, prompting you to unlock the door with a mindful turn of the handle.
Picture this door as a portal to a garden of undiscovered experiences. Boredom, like a guide, encourages you to stroll through this garden, appreciating the unique blooms of new hobbies, the refreshing breeze of novel adventures, and the soothing shade of meaningful connections. Rather than demolishing the door, savor the process of unlocking it, allowing each creak of the hinges to echo the unveiling of possibilities.
As you navigate this garden, consider boredom not as a sledgehammer demanding radical reconstruction but as a compass guiding you through the winding paths of personal growth. Each step becomes an exploration, every corner revealing facets of yourself and your surroundings you may have overlooked.
In this metaphorical garden, boredom becomes a gentle gardener, tending to the soil of your routine with the hope of cultivating a more vibrant and fulfilling landscape.
Embrace the subtle nudges to plant new seeds of interest, water the roots of existing passions, and let the sunlight of purpose illuminate the way.
So, the next time boredom knocks, resist the urge to wield a sledgehammer; instead, welcome it as a gardener of possibility, inviting you to tend to the flourishing soil of your life with care and intention.
Whether you're struggling with stress, anxiety, or self-doubt, or seeking personal growth and self-improvement, mindfulness coaching can help you gain clarity, build resilience, and enhance your overall well-being.
I am a Vancouver Life Coach and Mindfulness Teacher.