How to create habits that actually stick and the reasons most people fail.

Learning new habits is can be tricky. Everyone has obstacles to overcome, resistance to contend wit, and often environments that potentially need to be changed. But creating new habits can be easier when you become aware of the simple mistakes that are most common as people try to improve their lives.

And trust me, as a coach I’ve seen them all. Most people have a natural tendency to assume blame when their new habits don’t stick. We assume we are the problem when the reality is it usually the strategy we were using to begin with.

It’s simple: Change your strategy, change your habits.

Professor B.J. Fogg researched the top 10 mistakes people make as they try to change their behaviour. These are mistakes that, when avoided, can help you create new have and make them stick.

Mistake #1: Relying on Willpower for Long-Term Change

Like most people, I used to rely on willpower to change my habits. I would “will” myself to eat fruit and vegetables, exercise and socialize.

But the truth is willpower is a limited mental resource and the more you use it, the more it impairs your self-control. This is known as decision fatigue or ego depletion.

SOLUTION: Pretend willpower isn’t even an option. Instead of relying on willpower to learn new habits, form what we coaches call  “tiny habits” instead. Make very small changes consistently.

Mistake #2: Attempting Big Steps Instead of Baby Steps

In a world where we’re led to believe personal achievement should only be celebrated when it’s large and with visible results, it’s hard to start small.

But the secret to long-term change is to focus on baby steps (to begin with) and do things you can sustain – like improving 1 percent daily.

SOLUTION: Seek, “tiny successes”, one after another. Meditated for one minute n the morning? You deserve a pat on the back. Said no to a dessert? Have it on your cheat  day. Remember: Celebrate – and do so often.

Mistake #3: Ignoring How Environment Shapes Behaviour

It’s amazing how small changes in context can greatly influence our habits. Taking the batteries out of your television remote control, deleting social media apps on your mobile phone and even serving meal portions on small plates, can all affect your behaviour – and for the better.

SOLUTION: This one’s simple: change your environment and change your habits. Become a choice architect and redesign your environment so it’s conducive to your new behaviour.

Mistake #4: Trying to Stop Old Habits Instead of Creating New Ones

Going cold turkey to break bad habits is a popular, albeit difficult strategy to maintain; cravings aren’t satisfied and as a result, willpower failures become inevitable.

In his book, One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way, Dr. Robert Maurer recounts how he helped his patient, Rachel, kick her smoking habit by asking her to leave a voicemail on his phone whenever she felt the urge to smoke.

The result? She realized her reason for smoking in the first place and overcame her addiction. 

SOLUTION: Focus on taking action, rather than avoiding the problem entirely. It’s almost impossible to stop a negative behaviour, so replace it with a positive one instead.

Mistake #5: Blaming Failures on Lack of Motivation

Your motivation – like your emotional state – ebbs, and flows; it’s unpredictable and when you do need to rely on it, you’ll often be disappointed.

SOLUTION: You don’t need motivation to change, but what you do need are easier habits, ones that are impossible to resist. Eat one portion of fruit. Floss one tooth. Run to the next lamppost. In other words, make it, as Leo Babauta writes: “So easy, you can’t say no”

Mistake #6: Understanding the Power of Triggers

At the core of every habit is the same neurological loop. There’s a cue, a routine and a reward. The cue is the trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use.

SOLUTION: No behaviour happens without a cue, so to break bad habits, identify your cues (there’s often more than one) and to form new ones that stick, choose a cue like an immediately preceding action. An existing habit, like waking up, is perfect. 

Mistake #7: Believing That Information Leads to Action

Knowledge is not power, but knowledge and application is. An idea is only as good as its execution, so be sure to apply one new idea you learn, 

SOLUTION: Don’t be rational about change, get emotional; associate massive pain to not changing and pleasure to changing.

Mistake #8: Focusing on Abstract Goals More Than Concrete Habits

You attend a seminar, feel inspired and decide to “start a business”, “lose weight” or “earn more money”. But these are abstract goals: there’s no specific call to action so give yourself one. 

SOLUTION: “Abstract is: ‘Get in shape’. Concrete is: ‘Go to a one hour circuit’s class once a week’”. Turn your new habits into actionable steps that are easy to follow.

Mistake #9: Seeking to Change a Behaviour Forever, Not For a Short Time

There’s a reason Alcoholics Anonymous’ slogan is, “One day at a time”: change is hard. If we’re not dwelling on the past, we’re thinking about the future, so focus on the present and what you can do, today. First things first. One step in front of the other.

SOLUTION: A fixed period works better than “forever”. The trick is to turn a new behaviour into something you can count. The number of days you don’t do a negative behaviour or the number of days you do a replacement routine.

Track one day, to begin with, then a week, then a month and so on. You have one job: don’t break the chain.

 Mistake #10: Assuming That Creating new habits Is Difficult

It’s easier to argue you can’t change because you “lack willpower” (or any other excuse) than it is to do something. But when you have a framework for change – like the habit loop – you have no excuses.

SOLUTION: Creating new habits isn’t so difficult – once you’re using the right strategies in place. Decide what you want to change and take one new action, now. Identify a cue. Celebrate a success. Replace a routine. Just do something.

Realizing and avoiding these mistakes can transformed how you change your habits. I’m indebted to the solutions because they have changed my life – I hope they change yours too.